holidays are hard.
Can I just say it? The holidays are HARD. Even under the best of circumstances the holidays often involve increased stress, struggling with priorities, and navigating family dynamics. These struggles are especially real in 2020. And you know what that means: Hard decisions and boundary setting. So, how do you know what's right for you and your family? Be still and ask your Wise Mind for guidance. Our Wise Mind is the sweet spot between our Logical Mind and Emotional Mind; it is that beautiful middle of the venn diagram that holds the best of both sides. You see, we need a balance of Logic and Emotion to make our best decisions - ignoring one side in favor of the other means leaving out important decision-making data. When you find that balance you can be confident that your choice fits the facts of the situation while honoring the emotion of the moment. And most importantly, you can rest assured that your boundary is aligned with your personal values. Here's a trick for accessing your Wise Mind: Sit still and focus on your breath. Allow your mind to settle on your internal experience. As you sink into yourself bring to mind that situation you are considering. Now, play a little fill-in-the-blank game. "I feel ______ (accessing emotional mind), and I know ______ (accessing logical mind), so I will _______".
And if that doesn't work and it all feels overwhelming, well... in the wise words of Anna from Frozen II, just do the next right thing.
Rebecca Ray, LCSW